Eye to Eye

I do not anymore define success by means of a degree or a profession or my earning or other accomplishments to be rewarded of.

Right now, the feeling of triumph occurs when my kid is able to finish his meal without a negotiation, or take a nap without a fight, or go through a day without a tantrum.

These are my daily successes now:

To cook his meal while he's asleep;
To do the laundry without him pulling the cords and clothes' line;
To wash the dishes without him flooding the kitchen floor;
To bake & frost a cake without his hand on the flour or the cream; and
To deliver orders with him on one arm and a cake on the other...


I'm not bothered anymore when people say, "You could have been..." or "You're just a Stay-at-Home-Mom or a housewife..."

I just smile... my confidence doesn't lie anymore on things I used to care about before having a child.

I highly appreciate my academic and professional background, and I still hold interest in them. However right now, being able to work on another passion such as baking while raising a kid, is already an honor for me. Although this side engagement does not earn much, this works for us; and I guess each family go through a period when they would have to choose what set-up best works for everyone in the family.

There is a sense of exhilaration from being able to beat report dead lines or to stand up against the intimidation of lawyers in court or to get a high rating from both my students and superiors in the past; but,

Right now, I achieve a sense of both peace and ecstasy as I stare at my son's gentle spunky eyes.

I smile as he takes off my hair net,
removes my glasses,
pulls me to a chair,
sits on my lap,
and holds onto my face...

Sometimes after his tantrum or after I went through my own state of mommy insanity, he'd suddenly come close and smile as he sticks his face onto mine.

He starts with:
Forehead to forehead; then
Eye to eye;
Nose to nose;
Cheek to cheek;
Lips to lips;
Ear to ear;
Chin to chin; and finally
Chest to chest.

To my child, it's just play... but to me, it's a moment of rest and a reminder to Love amidst a full hectic and sometimes chaotic day...

--- Kunay 09/2016