Where is Hell?...

                                                             

In homes,

     where families fight and kill each other
     where husbands & wives blame each other
     where children are yelled at & ignored
     where abuse happens in the darkest corners of the house & a child is sworn into agonizing secrecy...

In hospitals,
     where the sick struggle to survive
     where babies beg for their lives
     where the dying hope for light in their next life...

In wars,
     where innocents are raped & burned alive
     where soldiers, rebels, and terrorists accuse each other as enemies
     where lifeless bodies are scattered along the streets and underneath the rubble...

Until...

"Into the Void..." - Kunay 2/2015

Like a fleeting leaf
I float with the swirling wind;

In the depths of the night
when the air freezes,
I'll be on a leafless branch
knocking at your window to let me in;

As your stubby hands unlock
the window knobs when you peek,
Like a breeze I'll wrap you whole and
kiss you
as if a frozen raindrop landed on your cheek;

Yet ice is always cold...
But I'll be a frozen fire enclosed in hale,
As the drop lands on your lips,
your touch will melt me
And you'll feel me
hugging you again...

--- Kunay 11/2013

Healing through Art

"Winter Bud" 9/15/14

Art has been my salvation during my depressed years from high school to college. I could not directly express what was happening inside me at that time. However, from writing poetry, painting, dancing free-form, and humming a song to making a collage, doing recycled art, playing a little bit of piano & drums, and baking; somehow the silenced parts of me found their voice through these forms even if I am not talented in these areas. I wrote phrases & words that fit closely to my thoughts & feelings, which I did not understand myself at that time; closed my eyes and danced alone to a melody I could resonate to; splashed colors at random and found their form on paper, cloth, or clay; spontaneously cut words & pictures putting them together as if a puzzle has been completed; baked a comforting sweet; sang in my room even when I was out of tune; played “Canon” on the organ even if it was not perfect; and just banged the drums to the intro of “Green Tinted ‘60’s Mind” then shifted to the chorus of “Selling the Drama” even when my drumming was broken & indiscriminate. Doing these activities were not only cathartic, but also fulfilling, as if in those moments my soul was free from the confines of Depression.